Ms. Magazine vs. Iron Man 2

I haven’t Fisked anything in a bit, so I’m feeling Fisky, and I discover this bit of awful today posted on the Dixonverse.  (fun board, run by comic book writer Chuck Dixon and his fans) It is from Ms. Magazine, and it is a piercing piece of journalism that dares to expose the horrible misogyny and racism of IRON MAN 2.  As a Wise Latino, who is always understanding of everyone’s feelings and since I also just watched Iron Man 2 this weekend, I feel uniquely qualified to explore this profound issue.  As usual, original article is in italics, my comments are in bold.

Gender 101 from Iron Man 2

By Natalie Wilson

And for the record, I didn’t know Ms. Magazine still existed. I thought that it had been put out to Shrill Harpy pasture back in the ‘80s. 

It’s right there in the title: Iron MAN, not meaning “human” but male.  Indeed, though I for one am hoping for an Iron Maiden movie starring Olivia Munn!  As I sat watching the movie with my 13-year-old son (and cringing at the overt sexualization of females), I cringed when I found out this lady had a kid.  Poor, poor child. I realized that Iron Man 2 is about the glory of males, the fact they are indeed “iron” and that, with their strength and ingenuity, the world will be saved. Hey, if magic unicorns wanted to step up and save the world, I’d be all in favor of taking the rest of the day off.

A number of other significant gender lessons are imparted in the film.

First, on men and masculinity:

1. Men don’t cry, they scream, as Ivan (played by Mickey Rourke) does when his dad dies.  Not only am I a wise Latino, I am also a writer. Trust me lady, nobody wants a weepy pansy villain. Plus, Ivan was a RUSSIAN.  Badass Russians only have three emotions: Revenge, depression, and vodka.

2. Men like power tools, technology, welding and weapons. Talking, not so much. Duh.  Ironically, my wife also prefers tools, tech, and weapons.  Which is one reason I love her so much.  And men do talk. We talk a lot. Just not about the stupid crap that people like you enjoy. Go watch Sex in the City 2 for that boring ass shit. Iron Man 2 was too talky. Hell, there were only two action sequences in the whole damn movie.

3. Men are big wheels and lone gunmen. Not all of them, just the ones interesting enough to make movies about. They may say, “It’s not all about me,” as Tony Stark (played by Robert Downey, Jr.) does at the beginning of the film, but, really, it is. Lady, he’s Tony Friggin’ Stark. If you don’t get that, I don’t think anyone can help you. 

4. Men need to leave a legacy and build a better future. The best way to do this is via weapons, wealth and womanizing  I don’t know about the womanizing, but an America without weapons and wealth would be speaking German right about now. (well, actually we’d still be a British colony) Weapons and Wealth (or guns, germs, and steel if you prefer) are what put us on top.

5. Men’s hatred of women is cute and humorous–or as one blogger puts it, “Tony Stark’s privileged sexist playboy antics are hilarious,” teaching viewers that “Men’s sexism is funny and endearing, as is their greed.” Yes. Tony is a great character, played wonderfully by Robert Downey Jr.  Tony is a playboy. That’s the character. When you find yourself easily offended by the personal habits of someone who doesn’t actually exist, you may want to reexamine your life.

6. Men are fabulous at business–so fabulous that they can successfully privatize world peace. Well, how’s that whole UN thing working out for you?

7. Real men (aka Tony Stark) think the “liberal agenda” is boring. AMEN!!  I cheered at that line. It is absurdly boring. It consists primarily of guilt, angst, and crying, and it only makes sense if you’ve been brained really hard in the skull with a brick.

8. Men will always need to be in the theatre of war. As such, they might as well turn their bodies into weapons. So that explains all those push-ups… Well, I suppose that we could just try to ‘love’ our enemies into not murdering us.

9. In fact, the male body is a weapon. Literally, figuratively, metaphorically.  Disagree. The MIND is a weapon. Everything else is just a tool.  Man is iron. Or, as Andrew O’Hehir’s naming of the Iron Man suit as “impenetrable iron-dong costume” Yes, because dongs are humanoid, red and gold, and can shoot laser beams.  in his Salon review Because hell, when I think of profound thought, I think of Salon.  suggests, the iron suit allows for the fulfillment of the male body not only as weapon but as walking erection–hard and ready all the time.  WARNING:  If massive walking laser erection that can fly and shoot missiles lasts for more than four hours, seek medical attention.

Wait a second though… wasn’t the single most effective combatant in the whole movie a woman?  More on that in a bit.

Secondly, on females and femininity (these lessons are longer, you see, because females need a lot of teaching): 

1. Women are for dancing, either around poles or on stage as props. Wherever they are dancing, they should be scantily clad. Yes, because movies featuring fat, ugly dancers really kill at the box office. And pole dancing while wearing a burkha is not only difficult, but unsafe. Note to cameraman: Shoot women dancers from behind so as to get maximum amount of booty shots, as in the opening scene of Iron Man 2 where our gaze is directed to numerous bent-over butts in red spandex hot pants. As O’Herir points out in his Salon review, there is “no irony” in these “loving, loop-the-loop tracking shots of these dancin’ hoochie-mamas with their spray-bronzed legs and perfect Spandex asses.” Wait… was he saying that was a negative? Screw you, Salon!  Rather it is, as this blogger aptly names it, “a vomit-inducingly sexist scene involving various swooping close-ups of womens’ body parts as they gyrate.” Yes, because attractive women dancing as a backdrop for selling a product would never occur in real life! How dare Iron Man 2 be set in a world we recognize!

2. Women are objects. When Tony is shown his new car, he makes a joke about the woman standing next to the vehicle: “Does she come with the car?” And what part of that would be out of character for the, you know, the character?  In other words, women, like cars, should be sleek, good looking, fast and expendable. Lady… Are you insane? That’s an Audi R8.  There is nothing EXPENDABLE about it!   It is not your Prius.  Tony assesses new female character Natalie Rushman (Scarlett Johansson) using the same parameters: Her intelligence, multi-lingual skills and martial arts training don’t seem to matter; he uses Google to find her old modeling pictures. I thought that part was pretty realistic, since if you use Google to look up anything, you are going to get boobies.  Go ahead and try it as an experiment.  I’ll wait for you…

See? Boobies. I told you so. Don’t blame Tony Stark for the fact the internet is mostly porn.

As Froley of ReelThinker notes, she is put “in her underwear just for the hell of it” and her character is no more than a “near-cameo.” Near-cameo is Salon speak for person with the longest action sequence.  This incites Froley to assume that director “Jon Favreau must be some kind of chauvinist dog, because he takes every opportunity to objectify women.” Well, have you seen Swingers? Man, that one is a classic.

But hold on a second. ScarJo (look how trendy I am!) plays Black Widow, a sexy super spy the defected from the USSR with super kung-fu moxy.  Once again, since we’re talking about fictional characters (since we’re watching Iron Man, and not some Sundance Festival piece of crap that no one outside of Manhattan will ever watch) and the Starkmeister is a known womanizer, then if would make perfect sense for Black Widow to have those photos on the internet, because the character would use that to her advantage against the other character.  Though I’m doubting very much that Ms. Magazine or Salon will be able to make that logical leap. (see brick to skull thing above)

3. Women need to have good make-up know-how. Both Stark’s assistant Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) and Natalie are not only beautifully made-up themselves, but also have the skills to mask Tony’s various bumps and bruises with foundation. Yes. Because ugly people go far… How many female CEOs wear Birkenstocks and don’t shave their armpits either?

This skill, along with their ability to take precarious, mincing steps on incredibly high heels, frames femininity as a performance that benefits males. High heels are tools of Male Oppression! BURN THEM!

4. Women’s most important asset is their bodies. Even when they are in full-on battle mode, they should remain hyper-vigilant about their bodily display. They don’t get to wear “iron man” suits, but really tight body suits. What fun would it be if their boobs and butts were hidden under metal? Actually, check Google. I’m pretty sure somebody is into that too.

Wait. Tony Stark should have been played by somebody ugly. Last I heard, women like Robert Downy Jr. Obviously this movie was just pandering to women!  (there, see how stupid that sounds, Salon? Yeah, **** you too).

5. Women are petty and jealous. Make fun of their jealousy by telling them “green doesn’t look good on you,” as Tony says to Pepper when his ogling of Natalie is obviously bothering her. Hey, lady. Have you ever actually talked to women about other women? Women are MEAN to each other in ways that men can’t even comprehend.  

You may say that this is just a stereotype… Sure. Did you go to high school? Girls are brutal to each other, and practice psychic warfare designed to ruin other girl’s self esteem. Or is that somehow men’s fault too?

6. The female body is weak. Pepper, after being saved by Tony near the end of Iron Man 2, says “I quit…My body can’t take this stress.” After two hours of watching Tony’s body take bullets, bombs, electric shocks and poisoning, we hear that poor Pepper can’t take the stress–of being a CEO for a week. That’s because he’s Tony Friggin’ Stark, and because it is a movie. In real life most humans are turned to jelly after fifteen seconds of the flailing about that passes for fighting. That would be BORING. So we watch characters that can kick ass. 

(ironically, despite Ms. Magazine’s astute observations, misogynistic director Jon Favreau gets beat up badly while womyn ScarJo kicks booty.  Apparently the folks from Salon had gotten up for popcorn at that point)

7. Women are very forgiving. Ignore her, lie to her, bring her the one food she is allergic to as a gift and make it known that you are a lifelong womanizer: Character… The word zips right over their head. None of that will matter as long as you kiss her at the right moment. Or, as Kyle Smith gleefully notes, “The Gwyneth Paltrow character is comfortable with being Tony Stark’s assistant instead of judo-chopping and blasting away at bad guys herself, in the somewhat silly manner of virtually every female lead in action movies these days.” Yep. So now if a woman does what the male lead does, then it is “silly”.  Make up your freaking minds!

Yes, it’s soooo silly when we act as if females want to be part of the action! As one blogger put it, “If I were Gwyneth Paltrow and I just played the role of a stiletto-heel-wearing submissive secretary cleaning up after some rich white chauvinist asshole, I’d send back my Oscar.” You would send back your Oscar, assuming you could get one, which you can’t, because you’re a no talent hack who writes for Salon. Meanwhile, the lovely and talented Gwyneth Paltrow is laughing at you, while she sits on a giant pile of money.

Finally, the film provides lessons in racism and homophobia:

1. Tony Stark explains his desire to no longer making weapons with, “I saw Americans killed by my own weapons in Afghanistan! I can’t put it better than this blogger: “Do I even need to mention how stupid and racist it is to say that he was OK with his weapons being used to kill all those other non-Americans?”  Huh? Uh… who are we currently fighting? Should Iron Man have been like that one Tom Clancy adaptation where the Jihadists suddenly turned into white supremacists?  In this same vein, as noted in my earlier post, various Others are framed as “evil terrorists,” namely Middle Easterners and North Koreans. Yes. It is absurd to think that Iran or North Korea would ever be a threat! (meanwhile, on Earth, they’re skipping the robot suits and building nukes)

2. Black actors are exchangeable. Swap Don Cheadle (Iron Man 2) for Terrence Howard (Iron Man 1). No one will notice. My goodness, you are stupid. No really, I mean you are really really dim-witted.  Terrance Howard was replaced because he wanted too much MONEY. Not only was it noticed, there was a hat tip to the geeks in Don Cheadle’s first scene where he said “I’m here, deal with it.” Indeed, deal with it, bitch.

p.s. Don Cheadle is a better actor. Deal with that, all you player haters.

p.p.s. Nick Fury was played by a black man. Nick Fury was originally white.  You don’t hear me screaming reverse racism. (okay, yes, geeks, I know. Ultimates… let’s not get too geeky)

3. Organizations which discriminate against homosexuals deserve huge donations. In the sequel, Tony donates a modern art collection, which Pepper has collected over 10 years, to the Boy Scouts of America. Okay, you want to pick a fight with the BSA. Kiss my ass and die. No seriously. Kiss it good. Then die. Go to hell, and die, on fire. A lot.  Oh, it’s not enough to cry about Iron Man picking on you, but you mess with the scouts, you’re lower than whale crap. They’ve done a thousand times more good than your pathetic, self-righteous, proud-to-be-a-victim, naive, liberal bullshit has ever even dreamed of accomplishing. You despise them because they have the audacity to stand up for what they believe in, instead of bending over to your agenda. And you people just hate that.

Bonus note: The sexist message of the Iron Man films spills off the screen and into our fast-food culture, with Burger King offering four lifestyle accessories for girls and four action-packed toys for boys.” Girls, get busy accessorizing! Boys, take action! News flash lady. Boys and girls like different toys. I’ve got boys and girls. My girls know how to defend themselves, and they can shoot. I’ve raised them to be very intelligent, self sufficient, and proud, but guess what? They liked to play with different toys. I feel sorry for your thirteen year old. When the other little boys were shooting each other with Nerf cannons, did he enjoy that My Little Pony you made him play with?

And not only do you hate the Boy Scouts, you hate the King? Bet you’re one of those people who thinks food should be regulated too…  Well guess what, lady. The Burger King will not be trifled with. He is terrifying. He is a force of nature. Do not piss off the King.

The King is watching you…

For this feminist, one thing’s certain: I won’t be stepping out in my non-high heels in order to see the sure-to-follow Iron Man 3.

Nope. Next is Thor, (a Viking! Boo! They’re insensitive! What with all the raping.) then Captain America (who, if the adaptation is faithful at all, should make your little head explode), then Avengers, then Iron Man 3. Me, and my Viking War Children will be at all of them, opening night.

This article was just an example of why the “feminist” movement died a pathetic death as a shell of its once important self.  True feminists are women are proud of who they are, and who take responsibility for themselves.  My wife is an example of a woman who truly takes no crap. However, since she’s a conservative, she is evil incarnate to the imbeciles at Ms Magazine. The feminist movement as it stands today is just another democrat shill organization that exists primarily to whine, feel picked on, and look for excuses to cry racism.  These are the people who hate Sarah Palin, but didn’t say a word about Bill Clinton’s misogyny. Apparently my Rule #1 of racism also applies to sexism.

Hey, Ms. Magazine, Iron Man go you down? Put on your big girl panties and deal with life.  That’s what Tony Stark would do.  

Fun with PhotoShop
Come and see me at CONduit

56 thoughts on “Ms. Magazine vs. Iron Man 2”

    1. Hey Larry, why don’t you quit pussyfooting around and REALLY tell us how you feel about these cry-baby, whiney-assed, oh-so-politically-correct, liberal ass hole, gutless reviewers?

      Hmmm…was I somewhat redundant in the use of multiple adjectives?

  1. Heh. And they so need to make a standalone Black Widow movie. I’d rather see that than IM3.

    After seeing Iron Man 2, I went home and read all the available black widow books, just to see if there was enough canon for a movie (there is).

      1. Only if you wish to befoul your bayonet with acidic liberal sludge. I prefer to eliminate them from a distance with my 3mm
        CorreiaTech Combat Wombat!

        If that’s not a glaring endorsement I don’t know what is.

  2. IT”S A COMIC BOOK!!!!!!!!

    Also, ridiculously high heels wouldn’t exist if no one bought them, and I’m pretty sure men aren’t buying the majority of stilletto heels, so think about that for a second.

    Also, people who have to move around acrobatically, like Ballet dancers and gymnasts, how do they dress? How many football players and soldiers in full gear do we see doing backflips?

    I thought at first you were arguing with a young woman whose last name was Magazine. Hee hee

  3. YES YES YES and YES.

    I loved Iron Man 2. Clearly, the gals over at Ms. and the punks at Salon don’t know how to kick back and just enjoy the damned movie.

    I’m going to go see it again for sure now.

  4. “Okay, you want to pick a fight with the (Boy Scouts of America). Kiss my ass and die. No seriously. Kiss it good. Then die. Go to hell, and die, on fire. A lot.”

    Now THAT’s an insult. Heh.

    Although Natalie did get one thing right in her column: “The King” of Burger King is just frickin’ creepy. Otherwise, she’s clearly off her meds…

  5. Maybe I should write reviews that consist of 80% quotes from bloggers the audience never heard of. 10% from other magazine reviewers, and 10% tripe that shows I watched a movie with no idea what the story is about.

  6. Also, the term ‘judo chop’ is itself a joke, used in Austin Powers to show Powers’ stupidity, since there is no chopping in Judo.

    The Ms. blogger’s use of that term shows that she really doesn’t understand what’s going on.

    After having been in a ‘Diversity’ class, I think that many academics like to just pick a position and argue it, just as an exercise.

    They also tend to read way too much into some subjects, (some right wing folks do that too, I think)

    There was an essay that we read in that class that said that Jay Leno was being racist when he did his ‘Dancing Itos’ skit during the OJ Simpson trial. It cited an old US Government propaganda piece that said that the Japanese were trying to hide among us by wearing beards, and wearing glasses, since that would hide their Japanese ethnicity.

    He then said that Leno was perpetuating a stereotype of the ‘hidden, dangerous Japanese male’ by dressing up the Dancing Itos with beards, big glasses, and black robes.

    Never mind that Lance Ito himself ACTUALLY LOOKED THAT WAY!!!

    I wrote that the writer’s entire article was invalid because of the fact that Lance Ito in fact had a beard, Glasses and wore a black robe. I wrote that I thought that this guy was taking an easy target to make an argument about and make a name for himself. I got a passing grade on that paper, but the teacher wrote that I had missed the point of the article.

    I think the writer had missed the point of his own article.

  7. Natalie Wilson is a literature and women’s studies scholar, blogger, and author. She teaches at Cal State San Marcos and specializes in the areas of gender studies, feminism, feminist theory, girl studies, militarism, body studies, boy culture and masculinity, contemporary literature, and popular culture. She is author of the blogs Professor, what if…? and Seduced by Twilight. She also writes the guest columns Monstrous Musings for the Womanist Musings blog and Pop Goes Feminism at Girl with Pen. She is currently writing a book examining the contemporary vampire craze from a feminist perspective. Dr. Wilson is also part of the collaborative research group that publishes United States Military Violence Against Women and is currently working on an investigative piece on militarized sexual violence perpetuated against civilians. She is a proud feminist parent of two feminist kids and is an admitted pop-culture junkie. Her favorite food is chocolate. Visit her online at NatalieWilsonPhd.

  8. Funny. The I Eat Pie blog is a very minor LJ, and the post was about the first movie. The poor blogger is confused as to why something years old is being dredged up.

    So, an alleged PhD had to go dumpster diving on LJ for something two years old to find support for her position, and picked a post that is, to be honest, semi-literate, poorly argued and full of false assumptions.

    Tell me again, exactly what value a degree in “____ studies” is?

  9. I remember when The Last Temptation of Christ came out and the scandal it created. I also remember the words of Robin Williams:

    “Hey Sparky. It is a movie!”

    Ms. PHD should chill some, preferably somewhere in the Arctic in bikini.

  10. Bravo Mr. Correia! Another literary whipping of a much deserving whiner.
    As I was watching the movie and Tony (THE MAN!) said to donate the collection to the BSA, I wanted to stand up and cheer.
    I second, (or would it be third now?) “Kiss my ass and die. No seriously. Kiss it good. Then die. Go to hell, and die, on fire. A lot.”
    Yes, much fire and being beaten with a large stick!

    Go on, pick a fight with the Boy Scouts. You will find a lot of us, including many heads of industry, who will rain down upon you and set fire to your shattered, pathetic excuse for a career and your shriveled nonexistent soul as we carve thin strips of your flesh off your screaming carcass to roast on the fire.
    Hey, we’re Boy Scouts. Two things we do know, how to start fires and how to keep out knives sharp.

  11. Did you go to high school? Girls are brutal to each other, and practice psychic warfare designed to ruin other girl’s self esteem. Or is that somehow men’s fault too?

    Ooh, wait–I can do this!

    [deep breath]

    “The patriarchy creates an environment in which women, rendered subordinate to and dependent on men, are forced to compete with each other for male attention. As a result, female effort is redirected toward undermining each other, which increases their feelings of inadequacy and perpetuates patriarchal mores while diverting the psychic resources that might otherwise be used to examine, subvert, and ultimately destroy the unearned privilege that defines the status quo.”

    I knew college was good for something. Turns out I’m still conversant in Progressive. 😉

  12. Once again, Larry proves HE’S THE MAN!

    If blogs could be novels, this one has Pulitzer written all over it…

  13. While I have issues with the BSA, I don’t have a problem with their message and intent. This woman is a sad sack. Actually wrote a paper in college detailing the difference between the femenist movement and real femenists who were living their lives, mans world be damned. My professor, the femenist, loved it.

    I haven’t seen Iron Man 2 yet, but its under protest not choice. This just makes me want to see it all the more!

  14. Awesomely put! Women like that make me completely sick.

    CEO!Pepper Potts was a huge badass in that she always seemed to be IN CHARGE of everything; robot drones going around trying to kill her possible love interest? Waltz to the back and help hack the mainframe with a cool head. Hell, Pepper Potts is always a badass, period – cool, levelheaded, the ice to Stark’s fire, the shadow behind him that keeps everything in order, or else, let’s face it, everything Stark has or is can and will fall apart; it is implied or stated multiple times in both movies that Potts is his crutch, he would be toast without her. Black Widow was also badass, too, in the more conventional action pwnage way, not to mention the fact that SHE IS A SPY FOR SHIELD. That instantly gives her lots of badass points.

    I mean, what the hell is up with this chick? We’re talking about Tony Stark here, scantily-clad dancing chicks are his trademark. The character was based off of Hugh Hefner, for crying out loud. Complaining that he’s a womanizer is like complaining that the sky is blue. And whining about how they changed Rhodes’ actor and how that is racist? The hell? Does this person have a single brain cell in their skull? I swear, people are so damn stupid these days.

    Can you tell I really liked the movie?

    1. Actually, the more direct inspiration was young Howard Hughes.

      Methinks somebody needs to go back on her PMS meds… and have the dosage upped. A LOT.

  15. thanks! I died laughing in the first two paras. I guess I’ll have to come back later lest I choke on my lunch laughing. But first I got to set you straight on something:
    VODKA is not an EMOTION. VODKA is a CALLING.

    1. No wait it’s a calling? I just thought it was a body ache inducing substance to abuse. Why do I say body ache inducing. Because with any other liquor I drink..the hangover consists of a raging headache, light sensitivity[ Hey! I’m a vampire who the fuck turned on the sun!] and the pukes. Vodka..all that and my entire body aches.

  16. You know, if it wasn’t for people like her I would never realize just what an inherently bad person I am… How DARE I be a white male in America?!!? I am ashamed of myself.. just… ashamed…

  17. Why can’t liberals go to a movie, enjoy the movie, and not look for the Sexism, Racism, and Homophobia?

    Thanks for your counter-points Larry.

    1. because..that would be asking too much. Why does anyone with a functional brain pay ANY attention to movie reviewers? Self important moralizing liberal twits, who wouldn’t recognize reality, not even if it shoves a lit stick of dynamite up their ass. I mean seriously? I never read reviews. I do look at the ratings if I really want to see something though. See it works like this:
      If they really hate it and give it a low rating be it with stars or numbers..I can almost guarantee I’m gonna love it.
      If they actually *like* it..I get scared. It makes me worry when they like something I really want to see. It doesn’t happen often but when it does..it causes me to either wait for PPV or go to the very early showings where I can get in for $5.
      I didn’t have that problem with Iron Man 2. The local reviewer didn’t like it at all gave it one and a half stars. Which gave me cause for great hope,. Therefore I went to my local Dinner theater and dropped $45 on tickets, food[real food, not popcorn] and beer. I LOVED Iron Man 2! Can’t wait for the rest of the movies that are coming.

      I only have one problem. Kenneth Branagh directing Thor? Why does this worry just a teensy weensy bit?

      1. ooops make that $45 dollars on A ticket, food and beer. yes I spent that much just for myself. I went by my lonesome after all.

  18. Larry, as a grown up, proud Boy Scout, this bit alone insures I’ll buy everything you ever write. Good, bad, or indifferent, makes no diff. You got my support!
    The kind of nonsense Ms Wilson is spouting is exactly the issue today. For some reason, these folks have it in their heads that talking solves ALL problems. Idiots. Try talking a mugger with a knife out of robbing you, see how far you get. Bet you’ll be happy to see one of us “walkiing erections” show up and save your ass.

  19. “WARNING: If massive walking laser erection that can fly and shoot missiles lasts for more than four hours, seek medical attention.”

    I LOLed, I sure did.

    Brilliant.

  20. OMG Larry, this review of a review was priceless.

    As for the swipe Ms. Magazine takes at very-high heels, all I can say is that such heels — Pleaser type heels (yes, go google it, men, and buy your wife a pair!) — are not necessarily meant to be walked around in. Worn, yes. Be provacative and sexy, yes. Walked on? Especially for long duration?

    Friends, when your wife puts on Pleasers, walking ‘aint what she got in mind! As for that matter, it ‘aint what you’ll have on your mind for very long either.

    And that’s all I have to say about that… For now.

    Great article, Larry! Loved it.

  21. The problem with these kind of critiques is they always, always fail to acknowledge that people who are different can still be equal, despite their differences.

    Men =/= mysogenist.

    Everything has to be a goddam conflict. Come on, people, like someone already said: it’s a comic book.

    This article was A RIOT. LOVED IT.

    And if they’re going to point out the inherent phallic penisy cock-ness of men, who are woman-haters by default, no matter what, they should choose a better example than Robert Downey Jr., who is an admitted bisexual. Hardly the hypermasculine penis-personified.

    And seriously, how do you DESEXUALIZE Scarlett Johansson? Kill her?

    Iron Man 2 rocked.

    1. “And seriously, how do you DESEXUALIZE Scarlett Johansson? Kill her?”
      There is now way to ?DEsexualize Scarlett. She oozes sex and sensuality out of every pore on her lovely body. Kill her? Perish the thought!

    2. >seriously, how do you DESEXUALIZE Scarlett Johansson? Kill her?

      Well, she is married to Colin Jost (one of the Weekend Update anchors) from “Saturday Night Live”, but that just makes Jost look good by comparison.

  22. Well, based on the review and your spot-on commentary, I’m guessing I’ll really enjoy IronMan 2. Femi-nazis really burn my ass.

  23. Am seriously hoarse from attempting to laugh and cheer at the same time. I must quibble, though, that the correct sequence would be, “Die, and THEN go to hell”.

  24. Goddammit, I hate shit like this. I consider myself a feminist, progressive, anti-racist, etc, etc, blah blah blah I’m a 23-year-old liberal college student. But when I read shit like Ms. Magazine it makes me want to go to a strip club with five dollar bills hanging out of my sweatpants just to balance out the universe.

    Attention, fellow liberals: Want to be taken seriously? Then stop being a fucking stereotype. Stop getting offended on behalf of groups you don’t belong to, stop assuming that the views of a fictional character are the views of the writer and director (was Downfall a pro-Nazi film? Probably, according to this idiot), and generally just stop acting like the flag-burning, tree-hugging, Prius-driving, gun-hating, hairy-armpit, easily offended twits that 95% of us hate just as much as (if not more than) conservatives do. Goddamn.

  25. “Okay, you want to pick a fight with the BSA. Kiss my ass and die. No seriously. Kiss it good. Then die. Go to hell, and die, on fire. A lot. Oh, it’s not enough to cry about Iron Man picking on you, but you mess with the scouts, you’re lower than whale crap. They’ve done a thousand times more good than your pathetic, self-righteous, proud-to-be-a-victim, naive, liberal bullshit has ever even dreamed of accomplishing. You despise them because they have the audacity to stand up for what they believe in, instead of bending over to your agenda. And you people just hate that.”

    God Bless you Larry. Some people just need to be pissed on… a lot. Well done sir.

  26. I’m just really depressed that the stupid bint who wrote that MS. Magazine bit has actually spawned. This is the kind of walking Darwin Award that inspires the Neo-Nazis towards euthanisation those who are a net drain on mankind.

  27. Larry, You just went up several notches in my “book of awesomeness”! Those last two paragraphs and the one about the BSA are pure gold!

  28. A review by someone who would never go to a Burger King and order a whopper about an Action Film they would never pay to see unless someone else was paying them to see it written for an audience just like them?
    What’s the point neither she or anyone who follows her would be a customer base for those she reviews. What difference does this article make???

Leave a Reply to harm Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *